PODCAST: A sign of desperationIn the past, raw manifestations of immediacy did not enjoy the same cachet that they do today. People who couldn’t keep a civil tongue tended to be ashamed of themselves, or pretended to be. But today, virtually every medium romances the loudmouth, the in-your-face, bully way of being. Or else it romances the blame-someone-else, bitter, self-righteous, defeated way of being.
The media reports on or elicits bogus moral outrage, grossly indiscreet tell-alls and false accusations and sends us chasing after red herrings. Afternoon talk shows and print or digital columns present undeveloped emotionality, poor judgment and spiritual poverty as if the failures were the fault of someone else.
On scripted and unscripted show alike, we see condescending ill manners, arrogance and inaccessibility. But the behavior is portrayed as a fierce and gutsy achievement—not as a sign of desperation from those who have lost connection with the kind, the decent and the humane. These raw manifestations of immediacy are protected by our right to free speech. There will always be people who thrive in the bully pulpit.
However, most of the rest of us don’t fight the good fight in this manner. In fact, most of us suffer greatly when we give too much play to raw immediacy, to mean-mindedness, blame or excuses and ego. It saps our strength, our effectiveness and our affinity, and it brutalizes the lives of everyone near, or dear.
Yes, antagonism, animosity and a stingy spirit seem natural enough. They may be the narrative projection of the animal’s ability to extend and defend itself, its offspring and its territory. Of course, we humans don’t literally eat the young of a rival. But, in the throes of raw immediacy, we may be two-faced, punitive and sullen, or snooty, or quick to take offense. Or else we affect the demeanor of a victim.
And, of course, in its throes, we don’t acknowledge that we’re unable to manage our thoughts and emotions. We blame someone or something for our resentment, instability and general discontent. We blame someone or something for our unwarranted antagonism, our poor manners and our irresponsibility. But when we live this way, it is we, ourselves, who are deplorable.
In immediacy’s grip, we represent the facts out of context; we act without regard for the feelings of others and with malicious words, we take the light from the eyes of others. And, as I said, we justify it because we can always point to people and situations that make us feel unsettled or insecure.
So, too often, out of touch with the kind, decent and humane, we indulge the pettiness and mean-mindedness, though we pay a big price for the indulgence. Desperation, lethargy, passivity, lack of confidence and loneliness are the common costs. And certainly, it is a poor and embarrassing role model for those who depend on us. No one wants a parent, representative, boss or friend who lacks intellectual integrity, emotional control and spiritual resource.
Much about the creative, inspired and meaningful life has to do with transcending the raw and immediate in favor of practices we might characterize as decent, humane and thoughtful, noble and deep. Much of it has to do with determining the authority by which we live, and then living by it, despite the relentless provocations of our own temperament, media hype and a world often cruel, unjust and disappointing.
This requires enormous dedication, initiative, and the ability to self-inspire. It enables us to live with ourselves and to get on with the life we choose.