Old “sins” such as envy, greed, anger, gluttony and sloth are neither routinely denounced nor necessarily avoided, at least in this country. But this doesn’t mean that displays of polarizing moral outrage aren’t prevalent. In many arenas, quick and dirty, disruptive accusation has replaced the hard work of process, negotiation, diplomacy and reconciliation.
Of course, when such tactics (red herrings couched in moral rhetoric) are used, our rivalrous, antagonistic instincts are riled. In fact, beware: brace yourself. If you don’t, you may be yanked into the brawling, name-calling nastiness that pervades relationship, politics, the Internet and other media. This is because the autonomous perspective, even the “voice of reason,” is often adulterated by those who would have you set aside your intelligence in service of their grasping interests.
Fortunately, we have had a real stake in subjective freedom, in creating an autonomous voice—a mind, will and identity of our own making. We recognized the power, stability and integrity intrinsic to this freedom, and the generosity—a gift of communication—that such a perspective requires. No, it wasn’t innate. As with other freedoms, our subjective authority and generosity were hard-won. By expressing the generous spirit by which we wish to be known and, in the face of much antagonism and contentiousness, we gave them life.
Indeed, we believe that courageous acts inspired by this generous spirit are the solution to the crippling confines of inflamed rivalry and antagonism. These acts require the courage of the prizefighter who, determined to succeed, gets up after being knocked down, no matter how many times. Again and again, we stand up to the red-herring tactics of accusation and outrage and reject the fear that would deter us from expressing a generosity of spirit—rejecting the fear intentionally instilled by these manipulative antagonists.
Yes, the human creature is naturally rivalrous, selfish and aggressive and, subsequently, willful (as in stubborn). But we are also perfectly capable of choosing generosity, which allows us to transcend the initial antagonism and focus anew on that which we really care about.
What we really care about is meaning, relevance and contribution. What we really care about is rising to the occasion and possessing fortitude and forbearance. What we really care about is being responsible for our attitudes, choices and decisions and being reconciled to the verities of life, love and death. And what we also really care about is creating a safe environment for relationship, a subjective space where the antagonism is held in check (transcended) and generosity is graciously extended.
Our commitment to overcoming our knee-jerk susceptibility to antagonism comes from this generous context. Its content shows up in our daily practice—in our moment to moment encounter with the people in our lives—and could be said to be the now and future direction of morality. In fact, we should interrogate the integrity of any relationship—familial or public—in which a wealth of generosity is not extended by us or to us.
More about this vital subject can be found in my posts, Behaving badly, a sign of desperation; and Behaving well, affinity, affection and attraction; and He said, she said, the inevitable clash of wills.