Autonomy and Life

In a previous post, I said that half of us want to live the unexamined life, assimilating into the culture, and half of us want to write our own marching orders. It’s not so easy, though, to be an original, to bring to bear the autonomy of self-command. How we have already been determined and shaped by the cultural impress resists our efforts to be other than the relentlessly acquisitive-of-stuff individuals by which the metaphorical Scoreboard now grades us. Its end-all and be-all: to rank our merit based on its evaluation of the worth of the money we have and the stuff we buy.

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Though the proverbial “the world is going to hell in a handbasket,” rings true often enough, we can’t sidle over to the dark side or wring our hands. We have work to do: a planet to (re)green; relationships to manage and grow; social expectations to satisfy; care, compassion and concern to give; hurdles to jump; disappointments to tolerate; and hope to herald. Each of these requires substance—of heart and soul and mind. So, we put our attention on this substance, its wisdom, its practices and its restraints. Read the rest of this entry »

We are typically endowed with enough, if not more than enough, willfulness. Humans are born to this trait, an ancient, reflexive, hard-wired response to being in the world. It’s undisciplined and without conscience. Its primitive ruthlessness drives those who would use any means possible, i.e., corruption, exploitation, cruelty, to get what they’re (also) driven to want. We see its evidence everywhere. It’s a blight upon our peopled world and an insoluble stain upon our planet.

The rest of us, educated to a conscience and a persistent fascination with the possibility of living a purposed life, want to stamp our will or make our mark upon the world, too. Despite all the privileges to which we are heir, we are well aware of how much of life is muddled, unpredictable, threatening, confrontational and for one reason or another, often just disappointing. Read the rest of this entry »

Half of us want to live the unexamined life, assimilating easily into the culture, the conventions and the perks of the time. And half don’t. We want to write our own marching orders, to look and ponder, to surmise and re-evaluate.

It’s not so easy, though, to be an original, to create a life of your own design, to parse, weight and scale where and how you can best contribute. Whether you’ve always had in mind this intention—and even see it as an obligation or, startled, realized that too much of your life “just happened,” there’s much to think about, plan for and do. Read the rest of this entry »

We see things as WE are, not as THEY are. This recognition is key to success with creating a life of our own design. Why? Because the ability to envision, evaluate, assess, project and correct, etc., is remarkably and extensively determined by our subjectivity. Let me tell you what I mean. (And please don’t be distracted by the detail in the next couple of paragraphs. The turning point is just sentences away!) Read the rest of this entry »

Our brain is well furnished for life in the jungle and savannah. But when it comes to the lay of the land, here and now in this modern, complex world, some of its furniture may be shopworn, ugly or ill suited.

The brain is hardwired with ancient data perfect for the task of running a tiger or an antelope. But the human brain is open for business and refurbishing, too. Billions of its neurons are not wired in a specific way when we’re born. Happenstance will plug some of them in, but many we can designate. This is where we upgrade, repurpose and rearrange. Let me tell you what I mean. Read the rest of this entry »

Of course, we—that’s you and I—are a complex mixture of needs and desires, and we don’t like them foiled! We have hopes and a sense of how life should be. Even if they’re not fully articulated, we are disappointed, irritated or infuriated when someone, or the situation as we had imagined it playing out, doesn’t measure up.

In fact, if we are seen angry, irked or outraged, odds are someone has not measured up. Maybe she’s been willful, or he stubborn, or she selfish and irresponsible, or he egoistic and incompetent, or she a big-mouthed know-nothing or he a pretentious know-it-all, or she manipulative, immature and cheeky or he domineering, obstinate and just plain wrong.

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The topic of my most recent post was the commonplace phenomenon I refer to as “behaving badly, a sign of desperation.” My concern was the divisive reach of its destructive force. In this post, I will discuss affinity and the reconciling reach of its attractive force.

I don’t think we can pin down what percentage of the affinitive instincts is brute nature and what is enhanced by religion, art, literature, music, dance and valentines. But these affinitive instincts—they are not unnatural. Think empathy, sympathy, love and camaraderie. Think kindness, nurture, gentility and understanding.

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Out there, right now, virtually every medium romances behaving badly—the loudmouth, the braggart, the in your face, name-calling, bully way of being. Or conversely, the put-upon, blame someone else, bitter, indignant, self-righteous, defeated way of being.

Shock jocks, confrontational pundits, pandering moderators and louts with blog access, report on or elicit bogus moral outrage, grossly indiscreet tell-alls, false accusations and outright lies and send us chasing after red herrings.

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The promise of humanity lies in its bold spirit. We have the ability to think, feel and imagine and to climb the ladder of transcendence. We have the ability to give honest and artful expression to the struggle to matter, to make order, to care.

Yes, we live in irrational and difficult times that have deprived many of their hope for a fine and agreeable life. Yet, this life is ours to design, build and furnish, with wisdom, nerve and heart.

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